Yesterday it was three whole weeks since Tiny Tin Bird was born. Three weeks! How can time simultaneously fly and stand still? I know that lots of people told me that time would fly, and they were right. I have been doing my level best to enjoy and treasure these early days though and I think I am doing well at that. I have been taking oodles of photographs and it’s incredible looking through them as you can see him changing each day. I can’t quite believe that my birth and hospital experience is getting further and further away. It was such a huge, huge deal for me that it’s taken a while to be able to start to let it go. I do still think about it a lot every day. I’m using spare moments to type up all my memories of it so that I don’t forget the small things. I’ve written 2700 words so far and have only just reached the part where I was induced – so much left to type but I’m glad that I’m doing it. I’m sure it’s the same for every woman but when people see my baby I want them to know exactly what I went through to get him, dammit! (I do have to be careful not to overshare heh.)
Today I ordered a photobook from Photobox after taking advantage of their sale last week. I have filled an 80 page photobook with just his first two weeks. I’m so glad that I did. The photos are immensely important to me and I’m glad that I’ve ordered them in a book as I’d never get round to putting them into an album.
It is hard to remember all of the small things though. I want to remember each expression that he makes from the frantic wild eyed look and beating hands he used to get when I latched him on each time (that expression has already stopped) to the sweetest little rosebud mouth he makes when happy and content. How he had his first bath the other day and seemed to enjoy it (and wee’d all over my mother in law) but didn’t like his hair being washed. How he makes himself into a pudding when he snuggles up when he is tired, but now he is getting more alert and likes to lay flat on his back (whilst looking into your eyes) with his arms by the side and his legs as straight and as long as he can get them. He knows his own mind and is very very strong. He climbed up me yesterday when I was holding him.
I want to remember the snuggly morning cuddles after his first feed, and the way he gazes out of the window when I lay him on the bed. How he is so besotted with Andy and is all happy and excited when they play together.
I’ve learnt a lot too … for example, always have your nappy changing gear open and laid out before you even think of unpoppering a sleepsuit! How he will always want me right now and that I just need to go with that. To always have two muslins when feeding. That sleep is something that I’m not going to get much of right now, but that I really do feel ok during the daytime and that I love feeding him in the night. I do not love changing him in the night. That it’s ok to stand and sway him to sleep rather than sitting with him in case I fall asleep. That if he is safe, it is ok to let him to cry while I have a shower. That newborn cheeks smell the best. Always feed him before I go out. To snuggle him as much as possible because he is never going to get any smaller. That if he falls asleep after feeding on one side it is only a matter of time before he wants the other side! That he will always, always want to feed when I eat my dinner – this is ok as long as I remember to pre-chop my food into small pieces before I sit down so that I can eat one handed. That my routine is important to me and he is showing signs of wanting a routine too. That sometimes he will just cry over nothing, and as long as he is ok then that’s all right.
It’s going ok so far.