Tiny Tin Bird

 

Hello friends :-)

Massive thank you for all your congratulations and kind comments, I sat up reading them all last night with TTB snuggled on my chest. We’re working on convincing him that he can’t be on me all night long … slow process but entirely necessary as the last two or three nights I have literally sat and held him all night as he won’t accept being off me. Early days, we’re working on it etc but jeez it’s scary on your own in the middle of the night with a baby.

Anyway we came home yesterday and I flip between gushing with love for him and being entirely terrified, scared, panicked and overwhelmed. I don’t think I’ll do a “full details” birth story on here as it’s a bit personal but I don’t mind sharing some things with you. I was due to be induced on the 20th (at 12 days overdue) but my waters broke on their own at 11:15 on Tuesday 18th. We went to the hospital as contractions didn’t start and they agreed to send me home with a “wait and see” approach but to come back at 10pm the next day to be induced if nothing had happened. You should know at this point that Andy had been up since FOUR am to start work at 6 and by the time we got home after the hospital he’d been awake for 22 hours. Just typical that the baby picked that day!

Contractions did start but not frequently or strong enough so we made our way back to the hospital at 10pm as planned for an induction. This was hideous. The whole experience of being on the induction ward was just horrendous and the midwife I had did not share the same attitude towards my labour as I did. I honestly did not know at this point how I was going to deliver the baby and I was terrified. The ward was extremely hot (I can’t emphasise enough here how HOT it was) and I felt like my body was in distress because of the heat. The staff were really busy that night and had a lot of deliveries so nobody was able to check on me through the night and I was very scared and alone. It was a long night.

Skip to 10am next morning after that horrible night. Andy was able to come back in to be with me. TTB’s movements inside me were so painful, more so than the contractions, that I was worried. He fetched a midwife for me and they examined and said that I was ready to go to the delivery rooms. I’d made it to 5cm on 2 cocodamol and just breathing through them on my own. Started to feel a bit more confident.

Now then. When I went to the delivery room I was assigned a student midwife who stayed with me the whole time. She and her supervisor and the other midwife that looked after me were FABULOUS. So, so good. I have named them in the positive feedback that I gave to the hospital. I was in so much pain because after each contraction baby would move painfully and this was followed by another contraction immediately, there was no breathing space. I got a bit hysterical at one point but they really helped me with the gas and air and after a bit I was well away. I laboured for about 9 hours on gas and air and some more cocodamol and I felt amazing, really in control and happy and just like I could Do This and do it well. I’m so glad that I have this positive experience of my labour to focus on as this portion was exactly how I wanted it and I was so incredibly proud of myself for doing it like that. Empowering. Sadly it stopped going to plan after that as I had only progressed to 7cm so they put me on the induction drip to push the contractions along. This meant a canula in my hand, and an internal heartrate monitor on TTB’s head. This was horribly uncomfortable and the monitor stopped working when I sat in the chair (I’d laboured in a chair the whole time, couldn’t do it on the bed) and so the labour went out of my control. The shifts changed and I had the midwife on duty again (the one that I didn’t like) and urgh it just all went a bit wrong. Long story short, TTB had changed position, things weren’t going to progress and it was clear that he wasn’t going to be born naturally.

So after a bit of a tearful and scary few minutes as I listened to all the risks and complications and scary bits and bobs I signed all the forms and was wheeled off to theatre for an emergency caesarean section. Having the spinal was horrible as I was so tense and scared and whatnot but after it was in I didn’t really care because I couldn’t feel anything anymore!

Then Andy was brought in and after a few minutes I heard a baby cry. It was incredible. I’d been so fraught and scared and had only been thinking about what I’d been going through that I had forgotten the reason why we were there. It took a few seconds to register that our baby had been born. Our baby. Wow. The doctor lifted him up over the screen and said “So you want to see your baby, yes there are some bits yes it’s a boy here you go!” and I laughed at the way he said it and it makes me laugh still. The paediatrician took TTB and checked him over and announced his weight … 9lb 7oz! goodness me. Then she wrapped him up, passed him to Andy and told him that he was just fine. I was so relieved that baby was safe, Andy was safe and the doctors were doing whatever they needed to that I had a little sleep on the operating table. Well I was tired!

In recovery, they latched TTB onto me and I saw him properly for the first time. I was breastfeeding and it was amazing. The circumstances weren’t ideal but we were all safe and I had my baby, and I was feeding him. That’s us in the top photo, in recovery, completely amazing.

Over the next few days I stayed in the hospital because apart from the normal recovery from a section I had lost 2 litres of blood during the surgery (apparently we only have 5 litres in our bodies at all) and I needed two blood transfusions. I was also on a lot of other intravenous drips for antibiotics as my waters had been broken for so long. TTB also needed IV antibiotics so the poor wee thing had a canula in his hand and a splint on his arm for 3 days. He’s fine though.

 

 

Sorry that was a bit longer than I intended it to be. There’s loads I haven’t included, I think I will write the rest down at some point just for me. But yes, that’s the story of how the most beautiful boy ever made came into the world and there hasn’t been a person yet who has crossed his path and not fallen into those deep blue baby eyes. He is so strong, so alert, a little cuddly pudding and he’s changed our lives completely. I love him so much that I just can’t get over it. I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. He smells divine and he is so snuggly. A snuggly little pudding.

Perfect.

I imagine blogging will be sporadic at best for a while given that I’m only just remembering to do things like feed myself at the moment so please bear with me. It’s just a break, I’m not stopping blogging or anything like that, and will post when I can. Thanks for your understanding.

xxx

147 thoughts on “Tiny Tin Bird

  1. Lee says:

    Congratulations to you and Andy on the safe arrival of TTB….what a handsome little man. Glad that all went safely and that you are home relaxing – well as much as any new mum can. Dont worry about the terrified feeling….it soon passes and your both sensible smart people – just go with your gut feelings and they will be the correct ones….the little people dont come with instruction books to make it easy. You will have days of wondering where all the time went, dont worry…the little ones are just the best of best time consumers – and every minute and cuddle is well worth that dust on the shelf or a days worth of dishes at night!!! hug both your men tight and enjoy them both…..

  2. Through 4 labor and deliveries….I threw up on 3 nurses 2 doctors and an intern (at the same time), broke a nurses hand, gave a nurse a concusion, almost sued the doctor who delivered my 3rd, had the doctor who delivered my 4th tell me that I was fat so I would get an infection from my c-section (I didn’t)….They always paint labor and delivery as such a wonderful thing but it usual is horrid. but in the end look at that beautiful baby you have. I guess it’s all worth it (but I remind mine just before every mothers day what I went through to have them LOL)

  3. Oh my goodness… what a story and what a brave girl you are! You darling boy is very handsome and sturdy looking. Take care and *C*O*N*G*R*A*T*U*L*A*T*I*O*N*S*!* to you 3! ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

  4. k says:

    Oh Heather you are such a gloriously beautiful mama. My own baby boy is 24 now and reading about your son’s birth brought my own’s back to me so vividly. My mother kept telling me, “No matter how he got here, he is here! And he is perfect!” And it was and is so true. I’m not sure I agree with those who say the memories of birth soon fade, but they do become triumphs, every single story, for every healthy baby, as we watch the miracle of our children thriving. I’m wishing you and TTB and Andy every joy and as much sleep as a new mama can use!

  5. He’s GORGEOUS Heather! (Gorgeous ripple too!)

    Some very funny comments here: ‘he’s a keeper’!?! And ‘WIP now a FO’!
    Fab! You have some great followers here.

    Don’t apologise for not blogging so much or even think about the frequency, your priorities have altered and blogging is not the be all and end all. We’ll be happy to see you when we see you :-)

  6. Linda J says:

    What lovely photos! Thank you so much for sharing them with us, Heather. I’m sorry you had such a tough time of it, but it sounds like things are on the up now. I hope you and Tiny Tin Bird continue to recover well. :-)

  7. Nanita says:

    Ooohhh my, just LOOK at him!! ♥ Absolutely perfect! I am sooo happy for you and Andy :-) Sending lots of love to you and your family!! :-) xxxx

  8. You look so lovely in the photo’s Heather, motherhood becomes you :) Your little fella is very cute and very cuddly, snuggly looking and I have had that on good authority, straight from a lovely friend of yours who has been very lucky to have had cuddles. Andy a dad I bet he can’t get the smiles off his face and I would think your families are over the moon too. Enjoy your days with him (and forget the mess etc. let someone else do it for you) the time goes so quickly.
    Hugs to you all.
    Sandi xoxo

  9. Congratulations … he is beautiful … you must be so thrilled … I am really happy for you all … keep well, rest often and enjoy this time … Bee xx

  10. penny says:

    “Two tiny feet,
    That wave in the air…
    Two tiny hands,
    That tug at your hair…
    And an adorable little face,
    A bundle of joy to love and embrace.”
    penny x

  11. TTB is just adorable. I’m glad all are safe and sound after his rather tumultuous arrival. Enjoy the very special times as a new family of three. The photo is gorgeous. Your face shows the wonder of it all.

  12. KateB says:

    Wowsers! You look fab for a lady who’s had no sleep for days and a CS too. Gorgeous little man, delighted to see he’s enjoying his lovely blankie! Many many congratulations to you both xXx

  13. KateB says:

    Wowsers! You look fab for a lady who\’s had no sleep for days and a CS too. Gorgeous little man, delighted to see he\’s enjoying his lovely blankie! Many many congratulations to you both xXx

  14. KateB says:

    Wowsers! You look fab for a lady who\\\’s had no sleep for days and a CS too. Gorgeous little man, delighted to see he\\\’s enjoying his lovely blankie! Many many congratulations to you both xXx

  15. Esther says:

    Congratulations Heather, you have a beautiful baby. My baby will come in four weeks. Glad you are well the two. A hug to you both from southern Spain.

  16. Maura says:

    WOO-HOO! GREAT BIG GOOD WISHES FROM CALIFORNIA!

    The moral of this story is “All’s well that ends well”!

    You look marvelously gorgeous in that recovery room picture! Big Boy Bird takes after you, in that he’s a Hollywood-handsome little guy. Something else wonderful is that his weight means he’ll sleep through the night sooner rather than later.

    Your gnarly birth experience warrants lots and lots of goodies and treats, so spoil yourself ridiculously while you recover!

  17. Anne Marie says:

    Oh, Oh, Oh, what a time you had. You just look like a little girl on that bed with TTB. He’s absolutely gorgeous. Take good care of yourselves. Love Anne Marie

  18. Kerri says:

    I am so happy everyone is well! I was teary-eyed through parts of your post. So, so excited for you all! He is absolutely adorable! Such a sweetie! Well done!!

  19. Heather he is absolutely gorgeous! Thank you so much for sharing, i do love baby pics :) Hope the breastfeeding continues well, it is such a special thing. I loved doing it with my youngest 2 after only managing a couple of weeks with my first due to illness. My little boy was just like that, didn’t want to be away from his mummy for a minute (girls are much more independent imo!), it’s such a lovely bond. Just go with the flow and do whatever feels right for you. Try and get some rest hun, take care xxx

  20. Sarah says:

    Dear Heather that photo of Tiny Tin Bird wrapped in his crochet blanket is beautiful! Enjoy every moment. Love and hugs from me to you all.

  21. Hi there, I’ve been lurking here for a while, following the progress of your pregnancy. Congratulations, well done. Take it easy – sounds like you’ve had a hard time. This time with your first born will never come again. Rest, recuperate and enjoy. I wish I had when I had my first baby but I wanted everything to be ‘normal’. Duh – nothing is ever the same version of normal again! No doubt you are wiser than me. Good luck.

  22. Brenda says:

    Heather, What a beautiful photo of you and your new baby. I’m so sorry you had some negatives in your delivery, it’s a marathon event and you really need helpful supportive people around you. Enjoy getting to know each other, rest whenever you can, you will cope with anything if you get sleep! Remeber it’s ok for your baby to cry, it hurts him more than it hurts you, he will learn to settle himself if you reassure him that you are close by. Take care of your self and I look forward to future posts – when you can of course xxBrenda

  23. He’s so gorgeous. Love that bit of hair and those big eyes. Sorry to hear your labour didn’t go as hoped… though I believe very few do. I had an emergency cesear with Amy and was induced but nothing happened with Christy so another cesear. Given generals for both :-(.
    Big hugs to you all. I sent something in the post for you today – not sure how long it will take to get there (by air).

  24. Julie says:

    Omg. He is just beautiful, Heather and Andy!! My love to you all. Look after yourselves and enjoy each day xxx love from Julie in Oz :)))

  25. Lovely, lovely boy. I had an emergency caesarian for my son. It was all so fast, and so not what I had imagined that I felt spaced out for quite a while. I cared for him wonderfully, breast fed etc etc, but the rush of maternal love came a few months later – and I didn’t realise I hadn’t been experiencing it until it actually happened. I hope you can relax and recover, because you may feel a bit weird and a bit overwhelmed. This will pass, and you have the sunniest of years ahead of you with your babe.
    x

  26. Bev says:

    Congratulations I’ve been reading your blog for a while found you through Lucy’s Attic but don’t normally comment. Sorry you had such a tough time you’ve got me in tears here must be the hormones lol. I bet it did you good to get it all down on paper so to speak. Take care of yourselves. All the best Bev.

  27. CONGRATULATIONS!! He’s absoloutely gorgeous, and you look radiant despite all you’d been through!!

    I have two boys and another mother of boys once said that the relationship between mother and son is like a love affair – in how intense it feels – she’s so right as you are finding out….

    Gosh, I am soooooo broody!!

    S x

  28. Bonnie in PA says:

    Congratulations Heather and Andy. Thanks for sharing and posting pictures. I have thought of your family so many times the past few weeks and am happy to know your son is here safely. I’m sorry it was such a rough trip for you, Heather. That was a lot to go through. My siser-in-law told me after my son was born that I should allow my body a year to fully recover. I learned that she was about right, so be patient with your body. It will mend itself. So glad you are nursing. I nursed both my children, one for 20 months. It was a happy experience. It is a blessing to have a large baby. Again, as my sister-in-law would say ‘They arrive with their “sh$t” together’, ready to take on the world.

  29. Kate B says:

    Have already commented above but had to pass on the delightful comment from my DH after showing him the top picture (like I’m some kind of proud Aunty even though I’ve never met you) his comment was along the lines of; “I hope one of their local rugby clubs has signed that big lad up, look at the arm lock he’s got on that boob”

  30. M. Isabel says:

    Congratulations Heather and Andy, you have a healthy baby, that´s the most important thing in this moment and the feelings of this precious love will make you forget the difficult moments. I wish you a prompt recovery and take it easy, think only on you and your family. Future will never be the same again, but much better… I am sure!! and I hope all of you a lot of Happiness. A hug from Germany !!
    M. Isabel

    ps. you look sooooo cute in the photo, and your little tiny baby is beauuuutifuuullll !!

  31. Kate says:

    Oh you made me cry! I felt exactly EXACTLY the same having my csection and hearing baby cry. I was so upset and scared that i had completely forgotton why the heck i was there, so to hear my boy and jolt back into reality and suddenly realise that the world had just changed for me in the most incredible way possible was amazing!
    I hope you have a smooth recovery from your surgery. Lots of snuggling in bed with your new man is by far the best medicine!
    Wishing you love and happiness, enjoy your adventures as a family of 3!
    Kate xxx

  32. melissa says:

    ok now i’ve read the whole thing, I’m crying! So happy for you, Andy, and little TTB. How very sweet! and hats off to you on the breastfeeding thing, I bow to any woman who can do it. I never could, it…was…well, just weird. both mine were bottle boys. but not quite so big :). happy happy again! he’s a sweetie, and he looks like you, he has your eyes. :)

  33. melissa says:

    ok one more thing i swear it! i agree with the you and the others. the most special sound in the wide world, is hearing your baby cry that first time. there’s absolutely NOTHING like it.

  34. Becky says:

    Congratulations and blessings to you and your family! I’m sorry you had such a hard time of it, but your boy is wonderful and you both look fantastic. Lots and lots of work ahead, I was shocked when I had my first baby how much time is spent caring for such a tiny little person. I’m sure once you recover that you will get over the fear and you’re going to be a great mom.
    Take care, and we’ll be happy to see you when you have time to blog. Priorities and all that : )

  35. Diana says:

    Welcome TTB, and well done Mummy on all your hard work. Hope your recovery goes well and is speedy. Rest whenever you can, you have deserved it. A new baby, that’s so wonderful.
    Congratulations to Daddy too.
    Diana from Canada

  36. I think it’s amazing you’ve blogged already Heather, Tiny Tin Bird is gorgeous, he looks so snuggly in your ripple blanket :)

    So sorry to hear about your crazy labour, it sounds similar to when my mum had my brother actually. I’m so glad it’s all over now and you have a wonderful little baby to take care of :) Can’t offer any advice on that but I’m sure you’re both doing great x

  37. A huge big congratulations to you both, he is just perfect. Well done Heather I do know he will bring some many new and wonderful memories into your lives xox lots of love Penelope

  38. Lisa says:

    Well done, well done, well done! I’m tearful reading your blog. Those first days, that amazing love, it brings it all back to me. 4 kids and my littlest is 5 now, and I’d do it all again. Well done and take your time. Enjoy it all xx

  39. I had a very similar experience trying to produce Stashlet (fortunately the threatened Cesarean didn’t happen in the end) with blood transfusions and all sorts, but I’m sure you’ll agree (through the fog of night feeds) that it’s all worth it for such a bundle of gorgeousness.

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